Doing Our Part To Give Thanks and Help

Doing Our Part To Give Thanks and Help

November 6, 2009

By Rev. Paul N. Papas II

We have two days this month to give thanks; Veterans Day and Thanksgiving.

Veterans Day celebrates those who made it home, those who did not come home, and those who are trying to make it home after fighting for our freedoms. Freedom is not free as it requires that men and women fight and die far from home.

Thanksgiving celebrates the fruits of the first harvest in new home. It was a time when new friends thanked God for seeing them through time times. The new settlers lost many who made the trip from England during the first year. They could not go back to England, so they resolved to put their best effort into making a home here.

War Veterans, the Pilgrims, and many people today have a few things in common. They experienced a lot of trauma; they witnessed one or multiple events that forever changed their very being and lives.

And once you do have such an event it’s your response to that event that makes the difference. In general many people have a great deal of resilience, and when they are presented with extraordinary traumas they march through them, they make their way, they adjust to them.

The stressful event is an out of the ordinary experience that people would go through. So war being one of them that perhaps is most familiar to many people, but there are certainly a variety of childhood traumas and tragedies that can occur that are outside the normal experience. One of the consequences of people experiencing a stressful event is what has become known as post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

The other kinds of things that are more typical of a post-traumatic stress response and post-traumatic stress disorder fall into two broad categories. One is a numbing type of response, and the other is an alerting or alarming response. Numbing response often will occur after or in some cases immediately after the trauma, but the people who get the alerting, agitation, they are very upset by it, that’s the most immediate and the most common response that people are used to thinking about in post-traumatic stress disorder. Reliving traumatic events can produce, sweating, rise in blood pressure, pulse rate is high, and eyes are dilated. It’s a fight or flight type response as it’s been known for almost a hundred years.
There is a lot written on PTSD and some symptoms are worse than others.
Sometimes people get very vivid dreams that will keep them up at night, will wake them up, bordering on nightmares that they will have and that these dreams sometimes start so intrude into their daytime life, and they start to become experienced as almost hallucinations or flashbacks that go back to the traumatic event, and they are constantly re-experiencing it. Things that are just the most subtle reminders will sometimes bring the whole event back, the classic example being from the soldiers from Vietnam when they would smell diesel fuel, that they would start to get the reminders of napalm, and they would then have a whole flashback to a whole series of perhaps traumatic events where they may have been injured themselves or one of their buddies may have been killed. Another example would be when they are hearing helicopter sounds, and it will trigger a flashback to being under fire in a very dangerous situation but again they may have actually gotten injured in. That would cause an alerting, hyper arousal that can be noticed.
Some Veterans do make it back to their home town, but their thoughts and reactions are still stuck in the events. This is what I meant earlier when I said some are still trying to make it home. The Veterans Administration spends a significant amount of time and money trying to bring the Vets home. Vietnam Vets experienced such things as having a “friendly” person by day attacking them by night. A person they trust is actually their enemy. Therefore trusting people can become a major issue.
Some would say that children are very resilient when facing devastating circumstances such as divorce, death of a parent or abuse. It is not true.
To be resilient means that when something happens, you return to your original emotional cognitive shape. That means a child becomes who they were before the traumatic event took place. An abuse child does not become as if he or she were never abused. A child who loses a parent never returns to being the child who had that parent. Children are shaped by those events.
Police Officers and other first responders to an event, such as the twin tower attack on 9-11-01 or a local car accident are among those who suffer from PTSD.
It is significant to note that New York State has authorized Workmen’s Compensation insurance payments for 9/11 volunteers who where not employees of the state or City of New York for such certain claims such as PTSD.
Some Katrina volunteers suffer from PTSD.
PTSD can be an unwelcomed consequence of people helping people or people witnessing or being a part of a traumatic event.
PTSD is not a dreaded disease. There is help and people can get to the point where they are able to function normally. It just takes time and work. PTSD is a medical condition of a mental illness.
I don’t know of any records going that far back, but I would imagine that the Pilgrims also suffered PTSD, especially in their first year here.
It is a great day when a Veteran finally returns home mentally and physically, as some as still on that journey.
As we approach Veterans Day and later Thanksgiving this month let us all remember how we got here and be thankful for what we’ve come through, what we have, and for those who helped get us here.

The celebration continues as each person is made whole. We all have a part and can all join in on the celebration.
Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and past President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI has a variety of support services for family, friends and those who suffer from a Mental Illness www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org,

Learn More About Mental Health Issues

By Rev. Paul N. Papas II
October 2, 2009

The real experts are sometimes the ones who go through a trial, tribulation, or situation themselves or with someone close to them. The families and friends who joined together to form what is now called NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) wanted to know the hows and whys people suffered from the medical condition of a mental illness. They also wanted to know what they could do to help.

Over the years NAMI grew and so did its resources and outreaches. Just as in any large organization not everyone always agreed on everything, but the basic goals remained the same and NAMI continues to grow.

People have counted on NAMI when they discover they, a family member or friend has been diagnosed with a medical condition of a Mental Illness for information and support. It can be a frightening experience to hear a diagnosis of a Mental Illness has been made. Many questions come up. Then the long standing stigma that has survived thousands of years, because of misconceptions and misinformation, starts to flood in. Friends and family start keep an ever increasing distance and this is just the beginning.

Local affiliates often have events to publicize the fact that help, support, and information is available. In this state NAMI has an annual convention. The 2007 state convention was held in Framingham. Unlike many conventions, NAMI State Conventions offer many informational workshops. This year’s state convention will be held in Springfield, MA Saturday October 24th. By the way my mother who was one of the founders of NAMI in MA would celebrate her birthday on that day. This convention is one place where you really can learn that you can touch and it won’t rub off.

This year the Keynote Speaker will be Dr. Alex Sabo, who will discuss Mapping the Brain.

Frank LaFrazia from the NAMI Berkshire County Board of Directors, will perform a one act play that is a true story of living with a mother who has a bi-polar condition called: Living with It

There are a variety of workshops available to choose from which will be very helpful.

The morning workshops are:

1. Work works: Employment as a Critical Component of Recovery

2. (CIT) Crisis Intervention Team

3. Nuts and Bolts of NAMI

4. Children’s Behavioral Health Initiative: New Home & Community-based Services for children and youth on MassHealth

5. Ask the Doctor: Children/Adolescents

6. Your Voice Matters: Political Advocacy 101

7. Community Based Flexible Supports: Recent Changes in DMH Adult Services

The afternoon workshops are:

1. Jail Diversion Program

2. Special Education: A “Slice” of NAMI Child/Adolescent Programs

3. Recovery Learning Communities: Self Care, Wellness and Beyond…

5. Ask the Doctor: Adults/ Geriatrics

6. Housing Options: How to Retain Your Housing and Prevent Homelessness

6. Caring for Those Who Served: How the VA can Help?

7. Getting your Walk Team on Board: Strategies to Raise Money and Awareness

NAMI Art Marketplace and Exhibition Area will be open throughout the day where you may find some very interesting items.

You may find it difficult to choose between workshops that are being offered at the same time.

You will be able to get up-close and personal with the experts from many walks of life when you participate in this convention.

You’ll see the Hollywood version of a medical condition of a Mental Illness is made for movies to sell tickets and is often far from the truth or norm when you participate in this convention.

You’ll find the folly in many myths and stigmas attributed to the medical condition of Mental Illness dispelled when you participate in this convention.

Springfield, MA on a Saturday is not that far away if you really are looking for answers.

For more info and to register: National Alliance on Mental Illness of Massachusetts 400 West Cummings Park, Suite 6650, Woburn, MA 01801 http://www.namimass.org or link from www.namigreaterframingham.org

Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and past President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org

Leading by Example

By: Rev. Paul N. Papas II
September 4, 2009 2:33PM EDT

It has been proven over and over you cannot make someone care; you cannot legislate morality, nor can you fake passion.

Whether you agreed with him or not the passing of Sen. Edward Kennedy leaves a leadership vacancy in the area of a passionate commitment to help people who have been pushed aside and had theirs voices silenced. He championed more than just this list of laws:

· Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)

· Family & Medical Leave Act

· Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)

· Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), supporting state programs to provide health insurance to uninsured children in low-income families.

· Family Opportunity Act, providing states the option to allow low and middle- income families with special needs children to purchase health care through Medicaid

· Recognition of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) as a biomedical research institute and increased funding for research.

· Early Intervention, Treatment and Prevention Act, providing for a range of education and training and community-based prevention and diversion services.

· Civil Rights for Institutionalized Person Act (CRIPA)

· Fair Housing Act expansion to include people with disabilities

· “Ticket to work” provisions under Social Security disability programs

· Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act (HIPAA), including restrictions on insurance limitations for pre-existing conditions

· Genetic Information Non-Discrimination Act

· “Wounded Warrior” act to improve access to mental health services for National Guard and Reserve forces

One of the pieces of legislation that he has tried over and over again to push through is universal health care. The debate over this bill has produced a passion this country has not seen in my lifetime. This issue is not a racial or class issue as some have suggested. It is neither a Republican nor Democrat issue.

There seems to be a general agreement that medical costs are very high. There also seems to a general agreement that medical services in the United States are far superior to medical services in other countries.

The town hall meetings have produced a passionate response to the 1,000 or so pages of the present proposed health care bill.

I am not going to argue for or against the proposal. The proponents argue that the trillions of dollars to implement this proposal are necessary to insure that everyone receives health care, which they say is a right. The opponents argue that we cannot afford it and that it takes away too many freedoms.

I ask you to review each page of the House and Senate versions and ask your congressmen and Senators if the concerns you have about your medical needs will be covered under this plan.

My questions include would programs that we fought so hard to get and keep such as the Jail Diversion Program be funded? Would a non-medical person or board in Washington have to decide whether a clinician would ride in the police cruiser before they go out on a call? Would a state judge need authorization from a non-medical person or board in Washington to sign an emergency commitment order for a person he or she has determined to be a danger to himself or others? If the person or board in Washington decides that the person who is a danger to himself or others denies coverage what does the Judge do with that person? Would veterans need to go to the same non-medical person or board in Washington before or after going to the VA? Would Domestic Violence victims need go to the same non-medical person or board in Washington before going to the emergency room? Would our now private medical information be owned and controlled by this non-medical person or board in Washington and become part of giant national personal data base. Would many of the gains listed above be negated by a non-medical person or board in Washington?

There have been few times in this country’s history that have produced such grass routes passion on both sides of an issue. I have asked you to be involved before, but this time is more critical than ever. Don’t let anyone make your decisions for you.

Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and past President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org.

It Is Not Always As It Seems

It is not always as it seems
By Rev. Paul N. Papas II
Fri Aug 07, 2009, 05:11 PM EDT

You have probably heard the phrase; “That if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, acts like a duck, then it must be a duck.”

Then there is the phrase; “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

If someone you know had with flu-like symptoms and fever, headache, sore throat and joint pain, then developed many other physical symptoms including eyelid droop, neck pain and arthritic symptoms, cognitive symptoms what would you think?

Perhaps later they exhibited things such as memory and concentration impairments, ADD/ADHD like symptoms, learning disabilities, OCD/crying spells, rages, depression/bipolar disorder, panic/anxiety disorders and psychoses, what would you think? What if you only saw the last group of symptoms, what would you think?

I can tell you may doctors would miss this answer.

Most people would be looking to the psychiatrist for an answer. Many could be on a path to treat the symptom, rather than the cause. There could be a round of therapies prescribed to treat the memory and concentration impairments, ADD/ADHD like symptoms, learning disabilities, OCD/crying spells, rages, depression/bipolar disorder, panic/anxiety disorders and psychoses. Meanwhile the real cause goes unchecked and untreated.

There isn’t anyone on earth who has all the answers. That is we have such things as this newspaper to help get the word out. That is why we organizations such as NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) try to help educate and stop the stigma of mental illness.

If you were the one who had the symptoms above how would like to be forced to go to a psychiatrist and take medication for a medical condition of a mental illness?

Now add that your condition has not improved, but perhaps has worsened. Now add that people you knew may now treat you differently because they believe you now have a mental illness and start distancing themselves from you. You might start doubting yourself and resign yourself to a much different world filled with medications and therapy sessions.

You might be screaming on the inside that something is not right. Your verbal protests may not be taken seriously or just ignored. You might hear such responses such as “Just adhere to the treatment plan we has decided you should have …. we know what is best for you.” You no longer have control of your life, a committee or doctor does.

This does happen.

People are judging you by your cover.

People, even trained professionals, are thinking if you act like and have all the classic symptoms of a medical condition of a mental illness then you must be treated for a mental illness in order to get better.

Somebody missed the bull’s eye rash that may have appeared earlier. Somebody did not do any tests for Lyme disease. Lyme disease is caused by the bite of a deer tick infected with Bb spirochete. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), 4 percent of Massachusetts residents were infected with Lyme disease in 2007. How many were treated for a different medical condition of a mental illness is not stated.

You may obtain more information about Lyme or other tick-borne illnesses you may go to www.LymeDiseaseAssociation.org. There you will find a list of recommended laboratories, which specialize in testing for Lyme and other tick-borne illnesses.

Sometimes Lyme disease tests are inaccurate and a structured clinical interview can assess patients who test negative for the parasite.

Lyme disease is treatable and should be considered as a possibility when diagnosing and treating mental illness, especially if the patient lives or has traveled in regions of the country with high infection rates.

Obviously, not all symptoms mentioned above are caused by a bite of an infected deer tick. However both medical conditions are treatable.

You can’t fix it or treat it unless you know what it is.

Sometimes we just don’t know the correct questions to ask. Just keep asking! It may not be a duck that you are looking at.

The Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and past President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org

Let’s Celebrate Independence

PAPAS: Let’s Celebrate Independence

By Rev. Paul N.Papas II

Thu July 02, 2009, 05:50 PM EDT

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed….”

This is a well known part of the document we celebrate its signing this week.

This great country from sea to shining sea may not be perfect….but it is made up of imperfect people. Even the fellow veterans I know agree this is the greatest country on earth. We like to remind people: these colors don’t run!

In this country we have the freedom to address issues in a peaceful manner. This freedom came at a high cost. Many fought and died for our freedom. VA Hospitals are full of my fellow Vets who receive medical care. I am sure they would appreciate a thank you as could all our men and women in the U.S. military.

Yes we still have unalienable rights and I want to address liberty and the pursuit of happiness today, along with safety. If one does not feel safe then they neither have liberty nor happiness.

You should be all you can be.

There was a Bishop of the Church of England who often liked to explain what freedom really means. He came from and was a Bishop to Africa and his story is compelling. He had been kidnapped by slave traders and put aboard a ship to be sold as a slave. A British ship captured the slave-trading ship and returned all the people back to their African homeland.

The Bishop liked to tell people no one knows freedom until it is taken away. No one knows freedom unless you were shackled to other men in the bottom of a ship and have them get sick and die while shackled to you. He had been freed by the British ship and later became a Bishop of the Church of England to Africa. He knew the real meaning of freedom and was not afraid to talk about it.

I would call what happened aboard those slave trading ships torture.

Today there are people being tortured and held as slaves in their own homes.

Today we call it domestic violence. Thankfully there is a lot being done to help the victims, but not enough to stop the cycle. Perhaps the new White House appointment will address that.

Today there are many disabled who are being left out of our protection. People become disabled for many reasons, some from birth, and some by accident. The disabled seem to be on the top of the list when it comes time to cutting funds.

There are some disabilities that evoke empathy and a rush to help. There are some that people would like to hide away.

When was the last time you saw a march, rally or walk to help those suffering from a medical condition of a mental illness being covered by all the media. However if a person who committed a heinous act should is found to be suffering from a medical condition of a mental illness, then that makes headline news.

We still have unalienable rights, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and safety among them. That goes for vets, domestic violence victims, the homeless, and those who suffer from a medical condition of a mental illness to name a few.

Let us all pause and take a moment to remember we’d all like to celebrate our independence together on an even playing field.

The Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and past President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org

Some Might Call It Torture

By Rev. Paul N. Papas II

Thu Jun 04, 2009, 03:05 PM EDT

It is my understanding that many people don’t like the idea that this country uses torture. Many would tell you that this country does not use torture.

I looked up torture in the dictionary and found:1) the act of inflicting excruciating pain, as “punishment or revenge, as a means of getting a confession or information, or for sheer cruelty. 2) a method of inflicting such pain. 3) Often, tortures. the pain or suffering caused or undergone. 4) extreme anguish of body or mind; agony. 5) a cause of severe pain or anguish.”.(Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, Random House, Inc. 2009.)

Sensory deprivation is one the techniques of torture and is a deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more of the senses. Sensory deprivation has been used in various alternative medicines and in psychological experiments and is accomplished in isolation cells in jails and by some abusers.

Though short periods of sensory deprivation can be relaxing, extended deprivation can result in extreme anxiety, hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, depression, and antisocial behavior.

Let’s try this scenario. A person exhibiting unacceptable behavior scares people around him and the police are called. A trained police officer arrives on the scene and has to assess the situation. The officer determines that an offence has been committed by the person. A number of outcomes are available to him. If the police officer determines that the person may have a mental health issue he can have that person examined by a professional.

Depending upon the offense it is possible the court could decide to offer the person treatment instead of jail. The court would have to be convinced that the person committed the offence as a result a mental illness. Should this person accept the treatment and continues with that treatment for a set period of time the offence is dismissed. This dismissal means that the mental illness is not criminalized and the person does not have a criminal record. I have given you a very brief overview of the Jail Diversion program.

A criminal record because of a mental illness doubles the stigma and makes it more difficult for someone to find a job or do other things.

Had this person ended up in a jail or prison, then it is very likely that person would spend a significant time in isolation. Jails and prisons are not properly equipped to handle a mental illness episode. Isolation produces sensory deprivation, which is torture, and can result in extreme anxiety, hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, depression, and antisocial behavior, the very thing that brought that person with a mental illness to that isolation cell.

Jail or prison isolation can be much more harmful to a person with a mental illness as isolation makes that person worse instead of better. They are torture to a person with a mental illness. The person with a mental illness is a victim of a chemical imbalance, yet he is blamed and punished.

Another scenario: A girl is abused by her brother and father. The girl is assaulted by her brother and files criminal charges against the brother and moves out of the house. Her father disinherits his daughter because she disgraced the family by bringing the charges and because she abandoned the family when she moved out. The father dies and leaves the daughter nothing. The daughter sues the estate for her share and looses because the judge ruled that she abandoned the family. The daughter is isolated from her family and her rightful inheritance. The daughter is tortured by her brother and father then blamed and victimized by the judge.

Which torture would you condone?

Next month you will see a change in my information below as I am retiring as President of NAMI Greater Framingham this month. I will continue to stand up for those who suffer from a mental illness and those affected by abuse. They are both tortured by things or events not of their own making. I will continue to help the abused, the abuser, and those affected by abuse to heal.

I have enjoyed serving NAMI Greater Framingham as vice president then several terms as president. I thank the membership for helping my service to them be enjoyable and successful. I also thank the Board members and Officers with whom I served. Two notable successes are hosting the NAMI State Convention in Framingham in 2007 and the approval of the soon to be open Alliance House at 20 Vernon St, Framingham. The Alliance House in cooperation with The Advocates, Inc is permanent supportive housing for people suffering from a mental illness.

Not only would I like to see the cycle of abuse stop, but I would also like to see the Jail Diversion Program instituted nationwide. It costs less to treat than ware house those with a mental illness in a jail or prison and decriminalizes mental illness.

The Rev. Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and current President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org

A Blessing Named Jon

PAPAS: A blessing named Jon

By Rev. Paul N.Papas II

Fri May 08, 2009, 10:42 AM EDT

One of the greatest losses in the life of a parent is when he or she hears the words, “Your child is disabled.” The diagnosis of a child with a disability disrupts the everyday life and plans of the parents, often forever.

That disability could be an obvious physical impairment or an unseen medical issue, such as a hole in the heart, respiratory issues, or a mental illness.

The words from the neurologist about their 1-year-old son, Jon, still echo. “The best I can tell you is for some reason Jon’s brain didn’t form properly which accounts for the severity of his mental retardation. And at birth something happened which accounts for his Grand Mal seizures. He may become a two-year-old mentally and then again he may not.”

Jon’s parents were sent home with those words and their lives changed. They were conscious of the safety needs of their daughter, Mary, who was seven years older, but even more so of Jon.

Children are supposed to grow out of their total dependence state. Jon never did. Children are supposed to learn what not to touch or put in their mouth. Jon never did. Children are supposed to learn what is safe and what is dangerous. Jon never did.

So they experienced what most parents of disabled children experience — constant vigilance, over- protecting the environment, supervising and educating everyone else who would have some part in Jon’s life.

As parents you have to provide a safe environment. (Fortunately, Jon was very passive and easy going so we could relax. Many parents have out-of-control, impulsive children who may not learn from their experiences).

When you go on an outing for recreation or a meal you’re quite vigilant. You notice things other parents might not. And if you don’t and your child is hurt you feel like a failure, even when there was nothing you could have done to have prevented the hurt.

When your child is 17 and a seventy-five pound infant who can’t be toilet trained and barely feeds himself, you’re protective whether he lives at home or not. When you think of keeping these children safe what usually comes to mind? Often it’s protecting them from others who would prey upon them. A lot of thought has to go into protecting them from themselves also.

Even a child with slight disabilities can be the source of ridicule, taunts and bullying from other children. Often weakness can bring out the worst in others.

“Without the support of others the effects of teasing, put downs and other non-physical abuses can be long lasting. What others say to this child can be so internalized and ingrained that it creates an inordinate need for acceptance. Repetitive rejections which occur for years can wear down a child.”

Parents or other caregivers can alert teachers or others who work with the children to be alert and intervene. A child can be given guidance on how to respond to the negative, painful remarks of others.

Don’t feel sorry for the teaser or bully. You can feel sorry for anyone who teases or bullies because they have unhappy hearts. And unhappy hearts are much harder to fix.

One of the greatest fears is that of sexual abuse which occurs all too frequently. The exploitation of the disabled at any age is a concern. These are children who can’t protect themselves because of physical problems and when there are mental limitations involved there may be confusion as to boundaries as well as to right and wrong. A disabled child may be manipulated or preyed upon by other children, siblings, adult helpers; camp worker, etc.

Yes we are to look out for and be vigilant to protect the disabled. Don’t let your vigilance over all these concerns for disabled children keep you from learning from them. They will be your greatest teachers—about life, loving and learning to adapt. “Jon taught us about life in a way we never experienced before. He changed us and for that we are eternally grateful.”

(The Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in Massachusetts and Arizona), founder of the Family Renewal Center and current President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org.)

Just Say Yes!

By Rev. Paul N.Papas II

Thu Apr 02, 2009, 05:03 PM EDT Framingham Tab

For years we’ve heard the phrase used for more than one campaign, “Just say No.” Today I am asking you to just say Yes! I am asking you to stand up and say yes to help when you can fill a need.

I heard a radio spot that suggested you could help someone heal by being a friend. The radio spot gave examples how when people cared and gave a helping hand people with the medical condition of a mental illness their recovery was significantly increased. When people say yes I care, lives are improved.

Mental illnesses are not the result of personal weakness, lack of character, or poor upbringing. I don’t know of anyone who woke up one day and said: I think I’ll have a mental illness today. A mental illness is not contagious; you can touch and it won’t rub off.

The other day a wife called her husband on his cell phone. She wanted to warn him that there was a travel advisory broadcast on the TV that someone was going the wrong way on the highway. He said they were wrong, there were hundreds. Sometimes we don’t see what should be plain to us and we need a little help. This wife just said yes.

The World Health Organization says that four of the 10 leading causes of disability in the U.S. and other developed countries are mental disorders.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) reports that by 2020 Major Depressive Illness will be the leading cause of disability in the world for women and children.

Although a mental illness can strike at any age, it usually strikes people in their prime of their lives.

Without treatment individuals and society pay a high price in such things as unnecessary disability, unemployment, substance abuse, homelessness, inappropriate incarceration, suicide, and wasted lives. The economic cost alone on untreated mental illness is more than 100 billion dollars each year in the United States.

NAMI has fought for years to have a mental illness covered by health insurance in an equal manner as any other medical issue. Finally Congress just said yes and approved this equality in October of 2008 and President Bush signed it into law.

It is really important to bring everyone to the table on major issues such as mental health and abuse. Just say yes to help those who need help.

I am not suggesting throwing dollars at it is the answer. I am suggesting a return to helping your neighbor.

At one time we knew our neighbors; we knew when there was a need and helped where we could. Today we barely know the person living next door. We should be more like the wife who called her husband on his cell phone while he was driving on the highway to warn him.

It is also important to include our faith communities at the table as they make great advocates for the disadvantaged, the disabled, and the abused. They know the communities they serve in ways others don’t.

Times are only going to get tougher as the economy worsens. People are downsizing out of need. Sharing housing and other resources will increase. Stress levels are rising. Stress is the cause of many physical, mental, and emotional problems. We need to just say yes to understanding, patience, and helping our neighbor where we can.

We need to find ways to educate as many people as possible about the need to help those who are afflicted with a mental illness or abuse and the consequences of failing to act.

Let’s say yes to finding new ways to work together to get through the tough times. Let’s start with a hello and a smile.

The Rev Paul N. Papas II is a pastoral counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in Massachusetts and Arizona), founder of the Family Renewal Center and current president of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org.

Where There Is A Will, There Is A Way

Where There Is A Will There Is A Way

Framingham Tab

By Rev Paul N. Papas II

March 13, 2009

Even if you’ve never directly invested in the stock market it is hard not to know what is happening on Wall Street. Wall Street and Main Street are interconnected; they can not exist without each other. Although they may be portrayed as having opposite functions, it is not the case. This is not to excuse some of the greedy actions of some.

Businesses rely upon investor’s money. Investors look for a good return on their money to keep the money supply flowing to businesses. To increase the burden on the business lowers the investor’s return on investment, which in turn dries up the money supply to businesses. This money drought causes higher prices and job losses.

Job losses increase foreclosures and homelessness.

These events result in smaller government income.

Normally, when the government has less income it looks for ways to cut spending, as families do. Governments and families look at their budgets to see what programs or activities can be eliminated.

Unfortunately, government usually cuts funding or programs to those with the smallest voice….the disadvantaged. Mental Health programs seem to be one of the favorite targets of budget cuts. This would be a serious mistake especially now. We need to be prudent in our spending. Prudence should include support services for the disadvantaged, and those loosing their jobs and homes.

Those families making choices between food, rent, or heat usually don’t have health insurance. This leads to more costly emergency room visits placing another drain on our economy.

Tent cities are growing across the nation. These residents have many unmet needs because they lack a real address.

Depression and suicide rates increase when people’s view of their circumstances seems to be hopeless. Anxiety is heightened. Hospitalizations for the medical conditions of mental illness increase in distressed times.

It would be more cost effective and prudent to provide mental health services for all who are in need. It would be better to pay less while the need is less than to pay for expensive emergency room visits and hospitalizations. Look at it this way: it cost less to change the oil in your car regularly, than pay to replace a seized engine.

As people become desperate they could do desperate things which increase the crime rate. This does not mean that people who have mental health issues are more likely to commit crimes. Some of these desperate actions are as result of people trying to survive their tough times. Increased crime results in more costs and burdens placed upon the tax payers.

We can all do our part in the tough times. We are our brother’s keeper. We each can help a person in need according to our gifts and resources. One of easiest and simplest ways we can help is by using our ears twice as much as we use our mouths. Sometimes people can be helped by being heard and by being offered a kind word. How could we ever know what is really needed or what we could do to help unless we listen?

We can each make a difference. We can share our time and resources with those in need. This type of sharing would do more to stimulate people and lighten the burden of our government. This type of sharing is caring about your neighbor. This type of caring reduces stress and blesses the giver and receiver.

How many of your neighbors do you know?

Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in MA and AZ), founder of the Family Renewal Center and current President of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. NAMI Greater Framingham has support groups for family and friends in Framingham and Uxbridge, support groups for consumers in Marlboro and Framingham , and various Education Meetings on the first Thursday evenings of the months from September through May www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, and www.namigreaterframingham.org

Making This A Matter of The Heart

PAPAS: Making this a matter of the heart

By Rev. Paul N. Papas II

Fri Feb 06, 2009, 04:48 PM EST

This time of year we are seeing red, hearts, flowers, and a lot of chocolate. Pictures of happy lovers encourage us to remember a gift for Valentine’s Day. Christmas barely ended before merchants brought out the Valentine’s Day displays.

Sometimes flowers and chocolates say I’m sorry, sometimes it’s just because I love you.

Whether it’s a marriage or other relationship, work is involved. Beyond the initial attraction, it takes time to learn about each other. The long-term relationships and marriages have learned how to grow together and stick together through the tough times.

There have been a number of movies released by Hollywood over the past years that depict angry, hurtful, abusive, and vicious relationships or break ups. I remember a song that gave us 50 ways to leave your lover. The culture of the ’60s would have us believe that if we couldn’t be with the one we loved, then we should love the one we are with. What a train wreck for relationships all that turned out to be!

The whole idea of relationships, especially marriages is to choose to be with someone because you desire to grow closer together, support each other, and build each other up in good and bad times.

We recently saw a movie called “Fireproof,” a story about a long-term marriage that got derailed and restored. The couple had many real life issues, not unlike many in today’s society. As the story progressed we saw how they lived and worked through their issues to build a stronger bond than they had before.

Depression, frustration, and anger were some of obstacles that the couple overcame. Part of the story is how they overcame the mountains that faced them. Many people would have given up. I am not a movie critic, however, I think this is a refreshing change for a film.

I always look at how people are treated or depicted. For example a recent comedy routine, enjoyed by most of the audience, portrayed a homeless man who had mental health issues in a negative light. Until people truly understand and stop the stigma, then routines like this will be seen as hilarious. This homeless man with mental health issues has the same basic needs as someone living in the upper end of town; he just has a few more obstacles.

There are true “rags to riches” testimonies, people who have overcome obstacles to reach great heights. I have read many books and met people who have become successful despite their mental and other physical obstacles. Time and space do not permit me to name them all. I received one book at Christmas called “Breakfast at Sally’s.” It is one homeless man’s inspirational journey by Richard LeMieux. The language may be a little rough for some; however it may open other’s eyes. The book “refutes the stereotypes that the general public has about the homeless population.”

In these economic times there are many who are just one paycheck away from homelessness. Not all homeless people have a medical condition of a mental illness. Not all people with a medical condition of a mental illness are homeless. Sometimes the two issues overlap.

Another man who has overcome many struggles is Kurt Warner, quarterback for the NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals. He went from stocking shelves to bringing two different teams to the Super Bowl and being a Super Bowl MVP.

If you are willing to do the work, with a little help you can overcome your obstacles.

Perhaps you could help someone overcome their obstacles.

Focus on what you can do for yourself and others, then you will be the giver of sweet smelling flowers this Valentine’s Day, receiving much more in return.

The Rev Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (located in Massachusetts and Arizona), founder of the Family Renewal Center and current president of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Framingham. www.narrowpathministries.org, www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org, www.namigreaterframingham.org