Strings On Your Finger

June 2, 2017

By Rev Paul N. Papas II

May 29, 2017

 

Ever forgotten anything? Ever tied a string on your finger to be reminded of something? If you had multiple things to remember, would you recall which string was for which?

Have you tried journaling? Yes, you say, and it went well for a while, then you got too busy and didn’t have time to write, and write, and write. Well, the great thing about journaling is that you write as you will, jotting down what seems important to you at that time.

Although facts don’t change over time, people’s recollection, perception or perspective of the facts may change.

Over the ages people wrote in words or created graphics about events which were of historic significance to them.

History is important. People who don’t know history are often bound to repeat it.

Doctors need to know about your medical history, and sometimes your family’s medical history, in order to have a better understanding and an idea of what to look for and learn of any adverse reactions to treatments or medications you might experience.   You certainly would not want to be treated for appendicitis if yours had already been removed. You also would not want to be treated for depression when indicators suggest that he should be addressing a brain tumor.

Court hearings normally have either a voice recording or a written transcript of the conversation to keep accurate records. The recordings or written transcript are often referred to when a ruling is being written. The written rulings are recorded in official court records and often times published.  There are mechanisms in place to correct errors.  People rely on the written rulings in settling disputes. There are mechanisms in place to appeal the rulings if one party is not satisfied. Sometimes outcomes change as the result of appeals.

No matter how much some people don’t like a historical event, the event will not change. People’s reaction to the historical event can change.

People are born and that historical event is recorded.

People die and that historical event is recorded.

Many events in the life of that person between their birth and death are memorialized by various records kept by the government or other entities.

We know a lot about Rev Billy Graham and Adolph Hitler because of a large volume of records and recordings which were made and preserved.  There may be a dispute about certain specific events concerning either of these public figures. I would think people would generally think that Rev Billy Graham did a lot of good things for a lot of people. Whereas, I suspect that would not be the consensus about Adolph Hitler who caused the deaths of many innocent people.

Some people seem to have the idea that historical events can be erased. Perhaps the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”, which airs around Christmas time, is reality to those who think they can erase historical events.

There are some who may not like an outcome of a historical event and try to fight the battles over again. Perhaps they would have more success by inventing a time machine which would allow them to revisit a specific moment to alter events.

Some would like to go back and remove a life changing car accident from history, they can’t. The way you deal with it can be changed.

Some would like to change the results of an election, they can’t. The way you deal with it can be changed.

Some would like to change the historical event of the American Civil War, a war between the slave owning Democrats and the anti-slavery Republicans, they can’t.

Removing the string from your finger, shredding a written record, or tearing down a monument will not change the historical events.

Monuments are reminders of good and bad times. People don’t always have the best memory, which is why we may need a string on our finger, a monument, or a trophy for an accomplishment we achieved. The string, monument, or trophy can be used to start or continue a conversation on how not to repeat the mistakes of the past, how we can do better this time….

 

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) www.narrowpathministries.org and www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org

 


Abuse, Home, Work, Church, a Boiled Frog

May 5, 2017

By Rev Paul N. Papas II

May 2, 2017

 

 

Sometimes you can’t see the forest through the trees. Sometimes you feel like you are knee deep in alligators.

Have you become a boiled frog?

I’m referring, to the proverbial frog that, placed in a pot of cold water that is gradually heated, never realizes the danger it’s in and is boiled alive. The hypothetical boiled frog is a useful metaphor for a very real problem: the difficulty of responding to abusive situations that creep up on you a bit at a time.

Most of us become so comfortable or used to our current situation that we don’t really know how to escape from it? (the heat) Don’t put up with rising temperatures!

Let’s not be a boiled frog!

Are you in a job which doesn’t suit you, your skills, your values, your personality or in abusive situation? Have you become so comfortable or used to your current situation or in a situation in which you don’t know how to escape?

 

According to the Dictionary Abuse is defined as wrongly or improperly using one’s authority. This could mean between a husband and wife, siblings, co-workers, people in your church, boss and employees. There are different types of abuse with a common thread; an abuser’s control over another person, imposing their will upon someone else, to force them to do something against their will or prevent them from activities.

Signs that you’re in an abusive relationship

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and imparts on you feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions at the link below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

https://helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

There are different types of abuse with a common thread; an abuser’s control over another person, imposing their will upon someone else, to force them to do something against their will or prevent them from activities.

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, reach out. There is help available.

Sexual Assault is one type of abuse. An article I would recommend to keep handy is 10 Things Sexual Assault Victims Want You to Know http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2017/april/ten-things-sexual-assault-victims-want-you-to-know.html

Unfortunately people have misused words in the Bible to impose their will upon someone else. It is not news, God Hates Abuse. One example is often repeated phrase that God Hates Divorce.

 “God hates divorce!” (Read the rest of the verse…)

Christian wives frequently hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse which says:

“along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances.”

Christian wives often think they have only two options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, internal conflict and heartache cloak every moment as they cling to survival, trying to please both God and their husband.

The future looks hopeless, and their identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of domestic abuse, desensitized to God’s ways and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults. Read more at https://godhatesabuse.com/god-hates-abuse I highly recommend reading and keeping the book handy titled God Hates Abuse.

Victims of abuse often experience and exhibit various degrees of PTSD, the same PTSD suffered by combat veterans, police officers, fire fighters, and other first responders. They also experience and exhibit anxiety, stress and distrust issues. Help is available. Just like any a clock which is too tightly wound, the unwinding must be carefully done.

Abusers oftentimes have self-worth issues and feel empowered and mighty when they abuse someone.

Here are some real examples from one family of controlling abuse:

Father beats a third grader because the third grader had a friend come over to the house…the father did not want anyone to know what was said or done in the house. This is a real example of controlling abusive behavior.

A son was called to come to the house to pick up a script for the Mom who was sick and could not get off the couch. The father, her husband, told the Mom to get up and get it yourself. They later divorced. This is a real example of controlling abusive behavior with an escape.

Years later, another son from the same family as above learns he can control the family by withholding medical updates of a hospitalized loved one.

An unrelated example is a woman Mary, not her real name, was looking for bruises on another woman, Jane, not her real name, who had her boyfriend present. Mary asked Jane if that man was her boyfriend, Jane said yes. Mary said she was looking for bruises because in her mind that is how men showed their ‘love’ for women by beating them.

No one deserves to be abused. Help is available for the Abuser, the Abused, and those affected by the abuse, just not all in the same setting.

Do your part to stop abuse today.  Learn what you can do to recognize and prevent abuse.

Abuse in Relationships: Can You See It?

 

 

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ)  www.narrowpathministries.org and www.familyrenewalcetneraz.org


 

Related articles and resources

http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/

https://stopandpraytv.wordpress.com/2017/05/01/video-the-touch-2005/

https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2017/01/10/video-no-weapon-shall-prosper-domestic-abuse-why-they-dont-leave/

https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2017/04/27/video-human-trafficker-confesses-to-murdering-400-500-little-girls-banker-told-to-sacrifice-children-104-men-arrested/

https://preacher01704.wordpress.com/video-for-gods-sake-domestic-violence-and-religion/

 

 


Old Fashion Still Good

April 7, 2017

By Rev. Paul N. Papas II

April 3, 2017

 

Every time I think that I have heard it all, there comes another one. Now it appears that people, who are hell-bent on indoctrinating everyone that up is down, and down is up, are upset with the Vice President. Why, because he will not have dinner with a women alone who is not his wife and without his wife being present. Nor will he go to an event that serves booze, if his wife is absent. To the Vice President and every other man who thinks the same way, I say BRAVO!

Ever since God and prayer were kicked out of schools we have witnessed, at an ever increasing rapid rate, the decline of the family. With the decline of the family came a myriad of social, political, and metal health issues.

Call me old fashioned, or politically incorrect, if you’d like. I was taught men should stand up when a woman entered the room and hold the door for women and elders. Today there are those who would attach a negative connotation to these actions. To those I say “it is mind over matter”. I don’t mind, and they don’t matter.

If you choose to stand in quicksand rather than on a rock, don’t be surprised when you’re soon buried under a lot of dirt.

By refusing to have dinner with a woman without his wife being present and not going to an event that serves booze if his wife is absent, a husband communicates his dedication to his wife alone, and avoids any appearance of evil. The husband’s dedication to his wife prevents inappropriate  actions on his part that could lead to the break up of his family. This can also be said for a wife’s dedication to her husband in the same manner.  Family break ups, which lead to a divorce, are only good for making divorce lawyers rich.

Family break ups often lead to some level of short or long term emotional, mental health and trust issues.

Family break ups can be also caused by, or lead to abuse issues.  Abuse issues often lead to some level of short or long term emotional, mental health and trust issues. Abusive relationships, or encounters, affect a lot more than the abuser and the abused. People who have been abused often become abusers.

Abuse can be caused by or lead to involvement with the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Pornography objectifies and dehumanizes men and women. Pornography destroys relationships as it creates a false understanding of interpersonal relationships.

The multi billion dollar pornography industry is tied to the multi billion dollar sex trafficking industry which seeks to satisfy the unrealistic needs created and supported by the pornography industry.

A husband who refuses to dine with a women without his wife present and refuses to attend a function that serves booze without his wife present guards against allowing any temptation to break his wedding vows. The same can be said for a wife who refuses to dine with a man without her husband present or attend a function that serves booze without her husband present. Couples who guard against temptation are less likely to end up in divorce court and all the tragedies of breaking up a family.

Couples who are dedicated to each other will work through issues either by themselves or with the help of another person, as the need may arise.

I applaud those couples who show this type of dedication to each other, gentlemen who hold doors for ladies, stands when a lady enters the room, and helps her with her chair as she is seated.   Call me old fashioned. Old fashioned is still good.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ), and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) www.narrowpathministries.org and www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org


A Time For Sharing And Giving

December 2, 2016

Thankful count the ways
By Rev Paul N. Papas II
November 29, 2016

We can finally breathe. After eight years of being insulted, deceived, mistreated, unjustly reviled and maligned the Eagle will soon be able to soar to new heights again. The abuser is moving out, but somehow I think he’ll be lurking around corners waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

Most of the abuse has been psychological with wounds that may not be visible to the naked eye. Just like in a home, victims of psychological abuse can be of any age or gender. This form of abuse is often difficult to prove. It includes threatening the victim with violence, harassing them at home, outside the home, at school or work, denying the victim access to others (e.g., refusing to allow the victim to see friends, preventing use of the telephone), confining the victim to home or area, destroying or taking the victim’s property. Many abusers will arrange it so that his victims are totally dependent upon the abuser, making it very difficult for the victim to move out. Many abusers will arrange it so that all money and services are controlled by the abuser.

After eight years of abuse fewer people have their homes, their health, or jobs. Black Friday was more like Bleak Friday.

After eight years of abuse the number of suicides is up. Twenty two Veterans a day alone are completing suicide.

We can finally breathe again. The new guy loves the Eagle and is preparing to restore the Eagle’s habitat and make the Eagle great again. The new guy is going about the business of building bridges with various people, some of whom bitterly opposed him. The new guy is refusing his salary and is working for free. The new guy is leading by example, giving and sharing.

We may not have much, but we can dust ourselves off and work with our neighbors to restore the Eagle’s habitat. The task is yuge and may appear to be overwhelming for some. You’ll be surprised how much we can accomplish and how quickly we can accomplish it by working together.

Sometimes overwhelming feelings rise up within us or we face difficult experiences: relational conflict, chronic illness, failure, job loss, and rejection to name a few. When a big problem presents itself, it is tempting to curl into a ball and allow worry to consume us mentally and physically. The best way to overcome the overwhelming tasks is to start working on completing the task. Instead of focusing on the mountain before you focus on pebbles in front of you. As you begin working on the task you will find that you begin to heal from the eight years of abuse.

Christmas is fast coming upon us. May I suggest a gift that will keep on giving, the gift of self sharing time with your neighbors to pitch in to restore the Eagle’s habitat? The life you save may be your own.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.famlyrenewalcenteraz.org


America’s Choosing and PTSD

November 4, 2016

ptsd-one-piece

By Rev Paul N. Papas II
November 1, 2016

Certainly we all make choices every day, some have more consequences than others. In a few days America will make a choice that will affect which direction the country will take, whether or not it will remain a Republic, and whether it will recover from PTSD.

Having experienced a wide variety of campaigns and presidents beginning with Dwight David Eisenhower (Ike) this current presidential election seems to have created the most interest by voters. This one has also created the most PTSD.

Looking back two previous presidential campaigns come to mind as we head to the polls: 1964 Goldwater v Johnson (LBJ) and 1980 Reagan v Carter. In 1964 before instant news or communications Johnson told the most fanciful lies about Goldwater, painting Goldwater as fruitcake. Goldwater had written a book about what his presidency would look like. Johnson kept saying Goldwater was crazy. Johnson had the advantage of being the sitting president and the press at his beckon call. Goldwater often warned us about the Globalist. An actor, named Ronald Reagan, came to Goldwater’s defense and presented what was then a rare Coast to Coast Broadcast, in a Time of Choosing.

“A Time for Choosing” by Ronald Reagan

After LBJ was reelected he did much of what Goldwater had outlined in his book and had ridiculed Goldwater for.

Goldwater and Reagan were not the only voices of warning, as you can watch below both Eisenhower and Kennedy also warned us.

Eisenhower warns us of the military industrial complex.

JFK Secret Societies Speech

The 1980 presidential campaign had many twists and turns, perhaps not as many the current 2016 presidential campaign. A large group of professional politicians strongly opposed Ronald Reagan. They said of Reagan he is too…old, etc. Reagan appeared to be behind in the polls then won in a landslide.

I see the 1964 and 1980 presidential campaigns of LBJ and Jimmy Carter as the basis of the professional politician running for president.

In contrast I see a bit of Ike, JFK, and Reagan in the businessman running for president.

JFK in his Secret Societies speech could have been talking to us today. JFK was actually talking about current events of the cold war and how nontraditional enemies were gaining information on how the US was battling the Cold War. In this speech JFK points out “the need for far greater “official” secrecy”…as well as “the need for a far greater public information”.

JFK admits “I have no easy answer to the dilemma that I have posed,” but also states, “and would not seek to impose it if I had one.” This a major difference from where most of today’s professional politicians stand.

There has been so much information, which is mostly propaganda, provided in this presidential election that many may feel they have been traumatized by professional politicians who feel entitled to be elected. The overload of propaganda has traumatized many in this nation, giving them PTSD. This PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor. A circular pattern can develop that may sometimes harm relationships.

What It Feels Like To Have PTSD

I think is it time for America to choose to end the professional politicians’ dependence on our wallets and have them go to work for a living. Let the nation recover from the PTSD caused by the professional politicians.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.famlyrenewalcenteraz.org

ptsd-notallwounds
ptsd-soldier-consoles-peer


Manufactured Issues Are A Distraction

September 2, 2016

safe space
By Rev Paul N. Papas II
August 30, 2016

We have enough legitimate issues that need our attention and cry out for a resolution. A number of manufactured issues are being floated as a smoke screen to distract us from, and even hide, the real issues.

We have used plenty of smoke grenades to mask troop movements from the enemy. Smoke grenades come in handy when you want to confuse the enemy and keep your troops safe.

Unfortunately, there has been a rash of manufactured issues to obfuscate the real issues in order to prevent them from being addressed. Lawyers do it all too often to keep their clients from being held accountable for their actions and creating safe places for their clients to hide.

A number of today’s college students expect colleges to have safe places in order to protect them from hearing opposing opinions. If I made be so bold to ask, how does one learn anything without asking questions, hearing differing points of view, and debating issues? If no questions are asked and no issues are debated such lack of actions ensures that no problems will be solved.

How are those who are ‘educated’ in safe places every going to be able to make the decisions required in life, never mind in business, or government or as leaders?

It reminds me of a current running TV advertisement which has a patient in a dentist chair with a person examining the patient’s mouth. The examiner tells the patient how bad his cavity is and then starts to leave the room and get ready for lunch. The examiner was not a dentist, rather a ‘dental monitor’.

Unfortunately, we have a whole lot of people who no longer feel that they have to take personal responsibility for their actions. Rather than take personal responsibility, they monitor some other person to point out their perceived, real, or imaged flaws.

This is not a new problem. It started in the Garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve. She in turn blamed the snake. Yes, the snake practiced deceptive practices, and still does today. Adam and Eve had the choice to act, or not to act upon what they heard from the snake.

Every person has a choice whether or not to act upon what they heard from the snake. Sometimes the snakes appear as lawyers, politicians, or lawyers who become politicians.

Can you imagine going to the emergency room with a life threatening injury only to be told, that because you are (fill in the blank), you will not be treated or told to wait, and wait. A case in point is Veterans dying, or accomplishing suicide, as a result of the unexplainable failure of the Veterans Administration to treat veterans. Veterans need action, not a monitor, or career politicians’ unfulfilled promises.

Can you imagine a person experiencing a psychotic episode who is left untreated? The person experiencing a psychotic episode may harm himself or others and end up as story on the evening news.

With all our technology today, there is no excuse for not treating our veterans, or others in need of medical care. After the failure to treat, often comes an army of lawyers to spin the story to have the victims sound and look like the perpetrators.

Then we have another manufactured issue solely designed to silence any opposing views. As a country, we experienced many growing pains from which we healed, or were healing. Unfortunately, some are using a distorted version of our history to silence people who don’t think the same way. I am talking about the claim, that certain people are racist to scare them into silence. From my view point, most of those being called racist are, in fact, not racist. In the past, a claim made that someone is racist, even by members of the same race, had those being charged looking for a safe place to hide. Fortunately, some being called racist today are standing up to the bullies making the charges of racism.

The bullies who are calling others, who don’t think like them, racist are just like snake the practicing deceptive practices. Just like Adam and Eve had the choice whether or not to act upon what they heard from the snake, we have a choice not react to those scream “racists”, at opponents.

There is one safe place in which all are equal and that is at foot of the Cross. There is no racism there, as no one is better than anyone else. Titles, worldly accomplishments, and riches, mean nothing in this safe place before God.

Let’s all challenge each other to peacefully work together to find real solutions to real problems and ignore the smoke screens.

Just say NO to the snake.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org
try Ark Titanic


What Happened To Servant Leaders?

June 3, 2016

Talents gifts serve
By Rev Paul N. Papas II

May 30, 2016

 

There is a common phrase that says,’ the more things change, the more they remain the same’. Frankly, it is not always true.

Growing up I would see a full flag holder attached to each parking meter in the downtown area for Veterans Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, and July 4th. We had a parade on Memorial Day and July 3rd that ended up at the park where the Fireworks display usually ended too soon in a big flourish.  People from all over the town came together over these very patriotic events. No matter their backgrounds or political beliefs, we were all Americans first.

This patriotic environment instilled a pride in being American. Something inside is stirred me upon seeing rows of American Flags line the streets.

At that time people who served in elective or appointed offices generally had the idea that it was a duty and honor to serve in a position for a period of time then return to private life, following the example of George Washington in declining to seek a third term as President.

In his Farwell address Washington sought to convince the American people that his service was no longer necessary by, once again, as he had in his first inaugural address, telling them that he truly believed he was never qualified to be president and, if he accomplished anything during his presidency, it was as a result of their support and efforts to help the country survive and prosper. Despite his confidence that the country would survive without his leadership, Washington used the majority of the letter to offer advice as a “parting friend” on what he believed were the greatest threats to the destruction of the nation.

While I served in different positions the patriotic lessons and the examples of many who served before me who never thought holding a political office was a career path.

Republicans and Democrats had differences of course however we did not have emails, faxes, text messages, and few had caller ID on their phones. We actually talked, either in person or on the phone, and found a path to resolve issues.

If there was a message that needed to be disturbed around town it went by way of telephone or printed flyer that was delivered to every home in town. We had a typewriter and a print shop on standby. Phones were dumb, you either dialed on a Rotary Dial or had a Touch Tone Phone, no apps. George Washington had much less than that during his twenty years of service.

Those years saw many improvements especially in the areas of helping those less fortunate and those suffering from a mental illness.  As with any request or requests for improvements we asked the questions: ’What if it were me or a family member of mine?’ and is this something that a church or private business should be handling? In a way, we were libertarian in not wanting government involved in every aspect of life.

We had a limited amount of revenue and the budget had to be balanced with respect to Police, Fire, Schools, various other services budgets while maintaining roads and town property.

You can liken the attitude of a public servant leader to that of a member of the military, he or she serves for a set numbers of years then goes back into private life. The difference between the two is; members of the military are well aware that they may be coming home in a casket. Either way the servant leader or a member of the military zeal to serve was no less diminished.

One area of improvement recognizing and treating what at one time was known as shell shock. Today PTSD is recognized as one the treatable issues first responders, victims or witnesses of abuse or tragedy can suffer in the same manner as a combat veteran can experience. Today self education and education of loved ones can greatly enhance the PTSD suffers recovery.

Yes, I miss having servant leaders in office who offer a portion of their lives to help make this a better place to live, instead of career politicians. Yes, hope springs eternal that we have not seen the last of the two thousand year old concept of servant leaders. May we look closely and choose wisely as the sanity we may save may be our own.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) www.narrowpathministries.org and www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org 

 

WASHINGTON’S FAREWELL ADDRESS

https://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/GPO-CDOC-106sdoc21/pdf/GPO-CDOC-106sdoc21.pdf

 

Just A Common Soldier

Memorial Day: Why We Remember

Star Spangled Banner As You’ve Never Heard It

strong people help others

image from Sacredtouches.com


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