Missing Them Is A Hard Thing

May 3, 2019

By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

April 30, 2019



The loss of a loved one can bring a pendulum of emotions. It is expected that a child will bury their parents. Parents care for, raise and guide their children while they shape their values.

One of the greatest traumas imaginable is when parents have to deal with the death of a child.   Producing greater stress than dealing with the death of a parent or spouse, a child’s death is especially traumatic because it is often unexpected as well as being in violation of the usual order of things in which the child is expected to bury the parent.

If you have never experienced the death of a child, it’s extremely difficult to know what to say to someone facing this type of loss. The death of a child is unnatural, unfair, and tragic.

Although the circumstances can be different, death is a permanent change of address from this side of eternity to the other. Your loved one is no longer available to call or hug. Your loved one, however, is still with you in your heart.

A remembrance of the good times is very helpful. Focusing of missed opportunities can lead to depression.   While words can never fully express how much someone means to us, language can still provide comfort, solace, hope, and even inspiration following the death of a loved one.

A parent being deployed brings a different set of anxiety and fear than a child going off to war. Parents are expected to protect their children and normally the parents are easily accessible. When children go off to war, they are protecting their parents.

There are times when elderly parents need the assistance and protection of their children. Be good to your children as they may one day make decisions for you.

Upon the death of a loved a final, a funeral service fills several important needs.

  • Funerals help us acknowledge that someone we love has died.
  • Funerals allow us to say goodbye.
  • Funerals offer continuity and hope for the living.
  • Funerals provide a support system for us, friends, family members and the community.
  • Funerals allow us to reflect on the meaning of life and death

A funeral comprises the rites, rituals, ceremonies and/or other meaningful observances that human beings conduct in order to honor or memorialize a person who died, whether held with or without the physical presence of the deceased’s remains.

Even if you never experienced it, I’m sure you can understand that the death of a child is especially painful. Everyone grieves in different ways. Sometimes celebrating the life of your departed loved one is the best way to heal.

Former Boston Red Sox relief pitcher, Rich Hill, revealed to the media on March 6, 2014 that his infant son, Brooks, passed away on February 24, reports CBS Boston. The nomadic Hill had signed with the Red Sox in January 2014 so that he could be close to his family and son, who was being treated at Mass General. Rich Hill, his wife Caitlin, and son Brice have a wonderful storey at https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/rich-hill-mlb-dodgers

Children are a Blessing of the Lord.  There are plenty of couples who are looking for the Blessings of children. My question is not judgmental but why would anyone choose to end the life of a Blessing of a child?

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) www.narrowpathministries.org and www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org








Have We All Gone Mad About Restrooms?

May 6, 2016

By Rev Paul N. Papas II
May 2, 2016

Yes, the economy is in the toilet and people who mean us harm are at the door. Noisy groups want to blockade whole states, and tape mouths shut over who gets into a restroom.

Let’s be clear. This is not a new offense just dreamt up by someone. This is the latest salvo in a forty year plan to destroy the family (1). To be more precise its roots are found in Genesis 3:15.

To be clear, I stand with the Sheriff in the video who said that if a guy follows my wife or daughter into the restroom, we’re going to make the news.

Men are designed and called to protect women and children (2)

Psalm 82:3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

The amount of documented cases of assaults and sexual assaults upon women and children is sobering (3). It is troubling that we are opening wide the restroom doors to any pervert who would be able to do their damage while barricading those who would protect them.

Let’s say Jane, who appears to be a full grown adult yet, has the mind of an 8 year old and is suffering with anxiety, depression, and PTSD is in a ladies room stall. In comes Jack with a beard in a dress and for the moment claims to be a women. Jack did not arrive in the ladies room to relieve himself and leave. Jack is looking for easy prey and his next victim. Jack is larger than Jane who innocently suspects nothing of danger while in the stall. Jack opens Jane’s stall door and brutalizes Jane leaving her in a heap curled up on the floor, never to be the same again.

Jack who claims to be a girl says he has a perfect right to be in the Ladies Room because he indentifies as a women. The sex thing…., it is okay… it is just part of his culture and she was there.

The same group claiming that Jack has a RIGHT to be in the Ladies Room also pushed for The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).

The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was the first major law to help government agencies and victim advocates work together to fight domestic violence, sexual assault, and other types of violence against women. It created new punishments for certain crimes and started programs to prevent violence and help victims. Over the years, the law has been expanded to provide more programs and services. (4) also see the factsheet (5).

Is Jack prosecuted pursuant to The Violence Against Women Act? Considering the current climate, it would allow the pervert to walk because he was wearing a dress and his culture permits brutal rape.

Jane on the other hand is revictimized every time she tells of her nightmare in the Ladies Room stall to a Police Officer, Judicial Officer or medical person and probably every time she closes her eyes.

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed have men go into the Men’s Room (it has three letters) and Women go into the Ladies’ Room (it has more than three letters.)

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org

(1) https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2016/05/01/leading-us-down-the-aisle-dems-4-point-plan-to-destroy-the-family/ and https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/video-the-homosexual-manifesto-is-just-satire-silly-americans/ and
https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2015/08/03/video-homosexuals-aiming-for-your-kids/ and https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2016/04/26/video-5-times-transgender-men-abused-women-and-children-in-bathrooms-personal-experiences/

(2) http://parentleadership.com/protect.html

(3) https://reclaimourrepublic.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/sex-crimes-at-target-stores/

(4) https://www.justice.gov/ovw and http://womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/laws-on-violence-against-women/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act

(5) https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/vawa_factsheet.pdf



November 1, 2013

By Rev Paul N Papas II

Times of refreshing can be as simple as splashing a little water on your face, soaking in a hot tub, going for a walk in fresh air, relaxing on vacation, or eating a good meal.

Your doctor and your mother always recommended getting at least eight hours of sleep each night. Everyone knows that without the proper amount of sleep the mind will be groggy the next day and as a result many more mistakes will be made. This means that you should get a full night’s rest before taking a test or take a little nap before driving a long distance in a car.

Scientists realize that sleep is not just a mental recharger, but is also important for the body as well. When a person sleeps, the body and mind are working just as hard as when the person is awake, correcting chemical imbalances, assuring proper blood sugar levels for the next day, and maintaining the memory.

Before electricity people would generally go to sleep when the sun set and arise with the sun, assuring that they got enough sleep to maintain a healthy mind and body. The light bulb has expanded the working day from 12 to 24 hours. It is becoming apparent that more and more people are sleep deprived. And with that deprivation, more and more scientists are realizing, there comes not only a mental deficiency, but also a physical deficiency.

The amount of sleep each person needs depends on many factors, including age. Infants generally require about 16 hours a day, while teenagers need about 9 hours on the average. For most adults, 7 to 8 hours a night appears to be the best amount of sleep, although some people may need as few as 5 hours or as many as 10 hours of sleep each day. Women in the first 3 months of pregnancy often need several more hours of sleep than usual.

The amount of sleep a person needs also increases if he or she has been deprived of sleep in previous days. Getting too little sleep creates a “sleep debt,” which is much like being overdrawn at a bank. Eventually your body will demand that the debt be repaid. We don’t seem to adapt to getting less sleep than we need; while we may get used to a sleep-depriving schedule, our judgment, reaction time, and other functions are still impaired.

People tend to sleep more lightly and for shorter time spans as they get older, although they generally need about the same amount of sleep as they needed in early adulthood. About half of all people over 65 have frequent sleeping problems, such as insomnia. This change may be a normal part of aging, or it may result from medical problems that are common in elderly people or from the medications and other treatments taken for those problems.

After an injury people need time to allow the body to rest and heal. Sometimes some physical therapy is required to regain strength or coordination. Some injuries require a period of hospitalization to heal the body or mind, or perhaps both.

In New England the harvest season is upon us where the fruits of the spring and summer labors are about to come to fruition. After the harvest, the land rests and then freezes in the winter, getting ready for a new planting season in the spring.

The idea of times of refreshing started in the beginning when the world was created in six days, then God rested on the seventh day to show us that we need time to refresh.

Whether you play for the Red Sox, softball at the local park, or work….you have a need to refresh for you body and mind to be ready for the next game or work day.

Lack of sleep can cause serious injuries and contribute to or exacerbate a variety of mental health issues. Simply put, your car won’t run without gas; and your body can’t function properly without water, food, and enough rest; and neither can your mind.

Take your times of refreshing as needed.

Reverend Paul N Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.NarrowPathMinistries.org and http://www.FamilyRenewalCenterAZ.org


October 4, 2013

By Rev Paul N Papas II
October 1, 2013

Whether it is on the sports playing field, in a family, or in Congress there is no “I” in team.

Let’s look at the Red Sox and the Yankees. The Red Sox seek the best players who work as a team to win championships. The Yankees buy the best individual star baseball players services with the idea that vast sums of money will purchase a championship. The difference has highlighted itself between the two teams the last couple of years. Individual stars are contracted to perform feats, then sold or traded like an oil change.

Last year the Red Sox had some good players who jettisoned the team work ethic and ended up in last place with the worst record. Changes were made that produced a healthy team environment that produced the best record, quite a change.

The Yankees on the other hand maintain the idea they can still buy a championship. The flaw in that theory is that when an individual star player gets hurt or does poorly on the field others don’t always feel the need to fill the void in production. Individual star players care more about themselves than anyone else. This year that group of individual star players, the Yankees, did not make the playoffs.

Family members don’t get traded or sign high dollar contracts to stay for a year or so. You’ve probably heard that you can’t pick you relatives however you can pick your friends.

There are no perfect families and family members have their disagreements from time to time. However generally they learn how to deal with each others personalities and work as a team. Family members generally pull together when one is hurt or needs assistance. Learning to work as a team within a family is preparation for working together in other groups.

Some people enter public service, whether elected or appointed, with the purpose of making things better, some see it as a job. Some elected officials see themselves as a servant of the people with their boss being those who elected them. Unfortunately too many elected officials see themselves as the boss of the people, which is not how our country was founded. Originally, our elected officials followed George Washington’s lead, served for a time and went back into private life. Unfortunately too many elected officials almost have to die in office to create a vacancy.

Some elected officials become members of Congress and serve in the House or Senate, whether or not they served in another office. Under ideal conditions Members of Congress would have had healthy relationships before being entrusted with so much responsibility and authority. Their prior healthy relationships would have fine tuned their skills to work well with others.

Unfortunately, today some have sought high office for reasons that harm our country. There are many in high office who would not know the truth if they tripped over it because they have lied so often, they become Serial Liars or perfect their Serial Lying.

We must be wary of the Serial Liar — for no reality exists for that sort of fibber and they are rarely aware of the fact that every word flowing from their lips is not true.

You recognize the Serial Liar by the tawdry friends they keep and the dismally dissociative associates they curry.

Serial Liars feed upon the weak and maul the good and exploit the want-to-be-liked. Serial Liars know — on some hidden, internal, level — that the truth doesn’t matter to their sycophants… only telling them what they want to hear matters most. Those who expose Serial Liars and Truthtellers get branded and then eaten by the world of Serial Liars. The Serial Liar’s behavior is an abuse of the trust reposed in them, upon the Republic, and the public at large. Each one of the Serial Liars should be treated as any other abuser, brought to Court, be sent for a psychological exam, then be subject to the same penalties as any other abuser.

A song once said livin’ ain’t easy and lovin’s twice as tough. You can’t pick your family; you do pick the company you keep. If you run across an elected official who: seems overly charming; is more spontaneous and intense than other people; show no signs of feeling shame, guilt or remorse; invents outrageous lies about their experiences; seeks to dominate others and “win” at all costs; seems to be highly intelligent; seems incapable of love; speaks poetically; never apologizes; and is delusional and literally believe that what they say becomes truth, then you’ve probably elected a Sociopath and the next election day can’t come soon enough. Sociopaths live by “I” and “Me” even if they use the word team. You can be a part of the Sociopaths team as long as you don’t disagree with the Sociopaths. Sociopaths are Serial Liars and can charm their way into office. Once discovered a Sociopath will play the victim.

We all feel better when our team wins. The team win is sweet when it truly was a team effort because every shares in glory. Team losses are much more bearable when it truly was a team effort. There is no “I” in Team!

Reverend Paul N Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.NarrowPathMinistries.org and http://www.FamilyRenewalCenterAZ.org


May 3, 2013

Tab Article
By Rev Paul N. Papas II
30 April 2013

I am sure that by now you have seen many pictures and reports of the cowardly Patriot’s Day bombing at this year’s Boston Marathon. At this point we are not sure how many people may have been involved; however we know they meant us harm. They meant to instill fear in us and disorient us and they failed in those goals.

Tragically, innocent people lost their lives or were injured over their senseless acts of terror. Our prayers continue to be lifted up for the injured, the families of the killed and injured and those who helped or are helping the recoveries and investigations.

In order for the cowardly bombers to succeed we would have become weak-kneed and submitted to their demands. Doesn’t this sound like a schoolyard bully?

We do not have a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself as being vulnerable in some way, or having a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens our self-image or ego. Instead we’ve gained a new resolve to root out the cancer of terror trying to invade our society.

We now know that political correctness had some cause in inflicting injury upon us. We now know that certain words and phrases were not allowed to be used by those questioning suspects and others even before the bombings. That is like asking a boxer to enter the ring against a fully prepared opponent while having one hand tied behind his back. Unfortunately, there are some politicians who are weak-kneed and trying to infest our society with a culture of fear. Fortunately, our Republic provides us the ballot box to remove the cancerous politicians.

You have a choice: hang your head in worry and develop a medical condition of a mental illness of anxiety, depression, or worse; OR do what we did on Patriot’s Day and go eyeball to eyeball and stare down terror.

Many veterans went eyeball to eyeball and stared down terror and overcame their fears as they served in combat.

Many first responders went eyeball to eyeball and stared down terror and overcame their fears as they helped the injured just after the Patriot’s Day bombing at the Marathon.

Many law enforcement personal went eyeball to eyeball and stared down terror and overcame their fears as they dealt with the cowardly Patriot’s Day bombers just after the bombing at the Marathon.

The courage that veterans, first responders, and law enforcement personal exhibited was not an absence of fear, rather it was them facing their fears and acting in spite of their fears.

Again, you have a choice to succumb to the fear and anxiety that the cowardly Patriot’s Day bombers wanted to instill or go eyeball to eyeball and stare down terror.

Here are two examples of how we reacted to the Patriot’s Day bomber’s attempt to instill fear in us; one at a Boston Bruins game, and the other at a Boston Red Sox game.



Boston Strong is who we are!

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org

The Curse was put in the Hearse, why not Stigma?

August 5, 2011

Tab Article
By Rev. Paul N. Papas II
1 August 2011

The Curse was put in the Hearse, why not Stigma?

Just as the famous curse against the Red Sox winning the World Series was put in the Hearse in 2004 why can’t we put stigma in the hearse in 2011?

In 2004 the Red Sox had a team that beat all the other contenders and became the World Series Champions. The Red Sox went on to win the World Series a couple more times and have been contenders when they did not win it all.

We presently possess enough information in 2011 to defeat Stigma against the medical condition of a mental illness. So why haven’t we? There are some people who don’t have enough information, so we need to get the word out. Then there are people who purposely just refuse to throw off all forms and purposely attack who have a medical condition of a mental illness. There are also people who purposely and willfully go about a campaign of disinformation to distribute false information about a person or group, for their own benefit, to create a stigma about that person or group.

This disinformation has been going on for a very long time, such as when the serpent deceived Eve into believing she would die if she ate the apple.

We see disinformation campaigns against those who have a medical condition of a mental illness in movies, TV shows, and on stage. Some comics use those who have a medical condition of a mental illness for fodder.

Since one in five people in this country are touched by someone who have a medical condition of a mental illness that means that one in five people are being ostracized by stigma because someone or some group wanted to feel superior.

I don’t know of anyone who had on their wish list to have a medical condition of a mental illness.

There are families who have purposely gone about a disinformation campaigns about another family member and emotionally disowned a family member.

In one case I know of a daughter was emotionally disowned because the family did not approve of her father. The marriage was not “family approved”. The family is forbidden to contact the daughter/cousin or have any association with her or even speak her name. This daughter/cousin did not have on her wish list to be born into that family, yet she has a stigma for something she has no control over. This family certainly feels superior to this daughter/cousin.

In another case I know of one sister emotionally disowned another sister and forbids their common parents to speak to, associate with, or mention the name of the emotionally disowned sister. The sister who did the disowning refused to share the love of the parents with her sister. The sister who did the disowning feels superior to her family in that she is controlling her own immediate family. The unfortunate thing is the sister who did the disowning has carried that same successful disownment strategy to others in her lives who she seeks to control. When she is unsuccessful in controlling someone else, then she goes about a purposeful disinformation campaign about them to create an unwarranted and unwelcomed stigma against them.

Stigma is like putting a drop of poison in water, once the poison has been introduced into the water it is not fit for human consumption. It must be cleaned before we can drink it.

In politics we have seen many disinformation campaigns go on. I am sure you know about negative ads. The theory is that if you repeat a lie often enough, then people start to believe it. Good news travels, but bad news travels faster. There are people who become polarized against someone or some group because of an ongoing disinformation campaign. I can think of a national figure that has been the subject of disinformation campaign that that there is a stigma attached to the mention of her name, Governor Sarah Palin. I recently saw the documentary “Undefeated” that presents a lot of historical facts and documented evidence about her life that I could see what a stigma has attached to her name, just because some believed the disinformation launched campaign against her. I challenge you to see the “Undefeated” and match it up with what you know about Gov Palin to see how the disinformation campaign against her have created a stigma about her.

Would you want to be the subject of disinformation campaign to create a stigma against you, probably not? Let’s END Stigma in 2011 and put in the hearse.

Rev. Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) http://www.narrowpathministries.org and http://www.familyrenewalcenteraz.org

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