In Defense of Backbone

January 2, 2020

By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

December 31, 2019

Recent events highlight the great divide between those with and those without a backbone to stand against evil.  Many of those without a backbone to stand against evil are either perpetrating it or enabling evil.

At the time of his death, Major General Smedley Darlington Butler, also known as “The Fighting Quaker”, was the most decorated Marine in US history; he was the only person to be awarded a Marine Corps Brevet Medal and a Medal of Honor for two separate military actions. He had also become an unrelenting voice against the business of war.

General Smedley is quoted as saying: “There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights.”

General Smedley:

  • Received 16 military medals, 5 for valor. Is one of 19 men to receive the Medal of Honor twice.
  • Wrote the 1935 exposé that linked business and the military titled “War Is A Racket.”
  • Ran for Senate as a Republican in 1932.

In 1934, Butler went before the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) to expose a conspiracy against the government. He had been recruited by a group of wealthy Pro-Fascists who had hoped to use him in a coup against President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He went along, gathering intelligence about the plot, and took it to Congress. Butler’s assertions were not aggressively pursued, and the matter was largely dismissed. However, an internal report to Congress from HUAC confirmed the veracity of the plot. (1)

In the Second World War we had many outstanding civilian and military leaders which worked to win the war against evil. One such Military Leader is General George C. Patton, see the video below:

Plots to over throw governments go back thousands of years in history.  Various groups stated various reasons for their coup or attempted coup.  At this time it appears our country has a group who attempted to subvert the will of the voters. Maybe their methods were different today than the ones General Butler testified to, but the results would have been the same had they been successful, the forced removal of a duly elected sitting president.

Perhaps those participants in the attempted coup are so narcissistic they take no care for fear, anxiety, and despondency they cause in others.  The participants don’t realize they are exposing themselves to be the obnoxious, insecure, morally bankrupt, mental runts of the litter that they are. Those participants were hoping to foment civil unrest; it turns out the general populace saw through and didn’t fall for the participants scam.

The participants would have us not protect ourselves. In six seconds a murder was stopped, much faster than police could arrive. See the graphic video below:

Still one of the participants insists it is irrational that we should be able to protect ourselves. See the video below:

Schoolyard bullies have a smaller territory than dictators of countries and smaller territories than the coup participants.

Keep your backbone in place, defend your home and your Bill of Rights or you may loose them both and wake up under a ruthless dictator.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and



Trump praises Texas gun laws, armed churchgoers for ending shooting in 6 seconds

A Christmas Story

December 8, 2019

By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

December 7, 2019

The Christmas Story is story of a hero. The greatest evil the world has ever known made the greatest hero the world has ever known. Crucifixion was the cruelest form of torture and execution man devised or used.

Not every hero since has given up his life for another. Heroes generally take no concern for their own life while trying to save the lives of others.

The acknowledgement and veneration of heroes has existed for centuries. It was the ancient Greeks who are accredited with first coining the designation.

A very recent tragedy brought to light another hero.  A young graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, whose dream was to become a pilot, is a hero after he reportedly related crucial information about the identity of the Naval Air Station (NAS) Pensacola shooter to first responders, despite having been shot several times, a family member revealed.

Joshua Kaleb Watson, 23, was confirmed as one of the three victims who were killed Friday morning when Saudi national Mohammed Saeed Alshamrani opened fire on a flight training program for foreign military personnel, Adam Watson revealed in a Facebook post. (1)

Joshua Kaleb Watson, 23, was confirmed as one of the three victims who was killed Friday morning.

“Today has been the worst day of my life. My youngest brother gave his life for his country in a senseless shooting. Joshua Kaleb Watson saved countless lives today with his own. After being shot multiple times he made it outside and told the first response team where the shooter was and those details were invaluable. He died a hero and we are beyond proud but there is a hole in our hearts that can never be filled. When we were little I gave Kaleb the name little poot and it stuck. It eventually evolved into pootis and finally uncle poot. Just wish I could talk to him one more time or wrestle with him one more time even though he could probably take me now. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers in this difficult time. “(2)

Simply put, the key to heroism is a concern for other people in need—a concern to defend a moral cause, knowing there is a personal risk, done without expectation of reward.

Philip Zimbardo: What Makes a Hero?

Christians who helped Jews during the Holocaust were in the same situation as other civilians who helped imprison or kill Jews, or ignored their suffering. The situation provided the impetus to act heroically or malevolently. People choose one path or the other.

Some choose a path to meet the needs of others. For example there is New England Patriots tight end Benjamin Watson will use his custom-made “My Cause, My Cleats” cleats to bring attention to his One More Foundation. H e created the One More Thing Foundation to spread the love and hope of Christ to one more soul.

“And, we do that by following the three charges that are given in Micah 6:8 when it talks about doing justice, loving-kindness, and walking humbly with our God,” he explained.

Watson said that, for the last decade, the foundation has given him the opportunity to meet people with “real needs” and “to know the one who can meet their needs forever and ever.”

“Whether it’s promoting and giving food to those who are hungry, doing events around the holidays, promoting education, standing against injustice — whether that be sex trafficking, abortion, or racial injustice … and also, just bringing kindness to people,” he continued. (3)

Courtesy of Eric J. Adler and the New England Patriots

Heroes | Restoring Faith in Humanity | 2017

“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” — Arthur Ashe, professional tennis player.

There have been thousands of unnamed and unknown heroes over the centuries. Heroes include those who stood ready, who fought and who died for the cause of freedom, first responders, those who served others, and the many that have helped someone without regard to their personal safety,

The true Christmas Story is an everyday story.

The real reason for the season was born to die and save us all.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and






Below are a handful of links to heroes

What Is Going On?

September 8, 2019

By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

September 7, 2019




I admit sometimes I forget, and sometimes I can’t remember, and I don’t remember which it is. I tell the kids don’t get old and that I don’t know how that can be done, just don’t get old. Yes, they just look at me.

Where does one call to find out the offense of day, moment is? Is there a central clearing house? It sure seems like you can turn TV stations to find the same words and the same outrage coming from different talking heads. I figure someone is passing out words to say. Would someone please give me the phone number of who has a list of the current offense words, hats or whatever? This growing list is giving me a headache.

When I grew up our news came from newspapers where opinions were found in the Editorial section. News contained facts not propaganda.

Newspapers were printed once, maybe twice a day, or weekly.

There were no computers, cell phones, texting, emails, twitter, facebook or other such things that instantly post pictures and information to people worldwide.  When someone needed or wanted to pass along information or pictures if they didn’t meet in person they put them in the mail.

TV news was on early in the morning, at noon, 6 and 11pm in black and white. There were no twenty four hour TV stations. AM radio was mostly music, FM broadcasts were rare.

No one was shot up into space yet. President Eisenhower had not yet warned us of the dangers of the military industrial complex.

In others words people looked each other in the eye and spoke to each other.

Yes, in some ways you could say life was slower compared to today. In some ways life was more relaxed than today.

There actually is a way to support my statement that life was more relaxed then.  The amount of people suffering from anxiety, which is the activation of the Fight or Flight System, rose in response to increase to the strains of everyday life from the 1950s on.

“The common psychological features of these problems include a mélange of symptoms involving nervousness, sadness, and malaise. The typical physical symptoms consist of headaches, fatigue, back pain, gastrointestinal complaints, and sleep and appetite difficulties, often accompanying struggles with interpersonal, financial, occupational, and health concerns. These complaints account for a large proportion of cases found in outpatient psychiatric and, especially, in general medical treatment.” (1).

Am I suggesting we go back in time, not quite? There are very many good uses of modern technology. The biggest downside I see to modern instant communications is the lack of interpersonal communications.

Interpersonal communication is the process by which we exchange information, feelings, and meanings through verbal and non-verbal messages through face-to-face communication. It is not always what is said, but how it is said and the expressions used.  The absence of interpersonal communications can lead to a misinterpretation of what was said which today could lead to quite a flurry of tweets.

My suggestions include: count to ten before sending an instant message, perhaps you’ll change what you want to say;  text less; meet as many people as you can in person to talk face to face; and take walks.  You just might find your quality of life will improve as will those around, doing your part to make the world a better place.


Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and



Original here



Should reporters air own opinions in public? Americans sound off ‘Era of low trust in media globally’

Sustained by Soil

September 4, 2015

Soil_ breakdown physicalgeography net
September 1, 2015 By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

We came from soil, we go back to soil, and we are sustained by soil. That makes soil a pretty important part of our lives. What’s the difference between soil and dirt? Dirt is what you find under your fingernails. Soil is what you find under your feet.

Think of soil as a thin living skin that covers the earth. It goes down into the ground just a short way. Even the most fertile topsoil is only a foot or so deep. Soil is more than rock particles. It includes all the living things and the materials they make or change.

Soil itself is very complex. It would be very wrong to think of soils as just a collection of fine mineral particles. Soil also contains air, water, dead organic matter, and various types of living organisms. The formation of a soil is influenced by organisms, climate, topography, parent material, and time.

Soil is also critical to our ecosystem and water cycle. The rain has to go somewhere, be held, feed plants and animals and evaporate, creating more rain. Different soils support different vegetation which are eaten or decay as part of the life cycle.

“And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.”
Genesis 1:3

Some of the decayed plants and animals are consumed by us in the form of fuel.

Soil based products or organisms are used by us often such as glass and some medications.

Jesus taught the Parable of the Sower discussing Four Soils. A Parable is simply an earthly story with a heavenly meaning.

He said, “A farmer went out to plant his seed. He scattered the seed on the ground. Some fell on a path. Birds came and ate it up. Some seed fell on rocky places, where there wasn’t much soil. The plants came up quickly, because the soil wasn’t deep. When the sun came up, it burned the plants. They dried up because they had no roots. Other seed fell among thorns. The thorns grew up and crowded out the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It produced a crop 100, 60 or 30 times more than what was planted. Those who have ears should listen and understand.” Matthew 13: 1-9

The four soils represent the hearts of different kinds of people: the way they hear truth; and they way will conduct themselves after being confronted by the truth. Some simply can’t handle the truth.

Hard Path: Some of the seed fell on a path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some people hear the truth, but like hardened paths, they do not let it sink into their hearts Soon Satan takes the truth away. (In the Bible, birds are sometimes a picture of Satan.) If people do not receive and respond to the word with faith, their opportunity will be stolen by the evil one.

Rocky Places: Next, some of the seed fell onto rocky places. These people hear the message with great joy, but like seeds on rocky soil, they do not let it take root. They seem to be happy to hear about Jesus (the Truth) and His great love, but they do not let it sink into their hearts. On the outside, they may express great enthusiasm, but inwardly, they do not carefully consider it. There were great crowds who followed Jesus, but only a few were His true disciples. When these people face pressure or bad circumstances, they quickly forget about the Truth. A true believer follows Jesus no matter what.

Thorns: Still other seed fell among thorns. Some people hear the Truth and start to grow and bear fruit. But soon they become worried about the problems of daily living. They may think if they only had more money and more “things” they would be happy. These wrong beliefs take up all the person’s time and energy, just like the weeds steal all the nutrients from the good plants. These people do not focus on living in the Truth, so they don’t produce any spiritual fruit. There is nothing wrong with the sower or the seed. The problem is the soil, the person who hears the Truth. He must trust the Truth to deliver him from his worries and greed so that he can grow in the Truth.

Good Soil: Still other seed fell on good soil. It produced a crop 100, 60, or 30 times more than what was planted. Isn’t it great to know that some of the seed fell on good soil? This represents the people who heard the Truth and believed it. They put their trust in the Truth. Their hearts received the message of the kingdom, and the seed will take root.

There is a lot going on in our world today that can be traced to the Parable of the Sower.

People are being assaulted, shot, raped, murdered, or beheaded because the were in the wrong place, wore the wrong clothing, belonged to the wrong group or because they disagreed or used some word or phrase that arbitrarily became a real or imagined offense. Those who perpetrate the manipulation and crimes I just described would have in years past been placed in a locked ward for a significant amount of time for being a danger to themselves or others. Instead they presently have a significant influence upon what is being said on some media. Those who perpetrate the manipulation and crimes I described heard the truth and it fell on the hard path, rocky places or among the thorns.

Fortunately there are enough around who heard the Truth and it fell on the good soil. When it is time to rebuild what the others have destroyed it will done by those who have the deep rooted Truth growing in the good soil.

The good news is you can choose to plant Truth in the good soil at anytime.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and

This pdf download link might be helpful to those who do or would like to garden or raise some crops.

Click to access CGToolkit_web.pdf

Surrender or Lose Your Head

August 7, 2015

Courage Billy Graham
By Reverend Paul N. Papas II
August 4, 2015

That might sound a little severe unless you’ve watching the world events as they seemingly escalate out of control. Perhaps you and I won’t be required to make that seemingly severe choice today.

Some will dismiss helpful or new information as another conspiracy theory. Funny thing about the so called conspiracy theories many large ones have been proven to be factual.

How many years did we hear that Area 51 in New Mexico did not exist? How many people were jailed or committed to Mental Health Hospitals because they presented evidence that Area 51 was real and the government had some sort of project at that location. About two years ago the government finally admitted that Area 51 does exist and was used as a test site.

About 27 years ago a reporter named Duncan Campbell exposed a government surveillance program called ECHELON. Today documents were revealed showing the reporter was correct, our government has been conducting world wide surveillance by way of the project ECHELON for years. Duncan Campbell was finally vindicated.

For sometime time I have been writing about the weaponizing of the Mental Health system. There are people who have legitimate Mental Health issues and they can legitimately be addressed in several ways. In some cases natural remedies have proven helpful. As you can see from my previous articles, available on my blog, there are some pretty harmful, and in some cases evil ways, the Mental Health system is being used to further a political agenda.

It was not long ago that a plan was announced to declare recipients of Social Security incompetent so they will not be eligible to register or possess guns. There is not enough space to address the absurdity and the pitfalls of this obviously politically driven plan.

Today I read that a Psychiatrist has a national for profit business of teaching police to shoot first then he will come in and answer the questions. As an expert witness, he will lie for them, in court and, according to him, have the police exonerated. So the Law Enforcer becomes a Law Breaker with the help of Psychiatrist who perjures himself to have the Law Enforcer/Law Breaker go scot-free while some of his victims remain dead.

So now right is wrong, up is down, and left is right. Who is the sane one?

Yes, you can surrender to this upside down madness and perhaps take a pill to numb yourself or stick to your God given values and strength.

You have probably been given a steady diet of the turmoil in the Middle East which has spread to much of Europe and Africa as it makes its way here to the US. Volumes have been written as to how we got to this situation in time. Good, bad, or indifferent we are here.

Some would choose to look at the End Times Prophecy as a conspiracy theory or a fairy tale, you may, but what if it is true? You can find out more on my blog.

There are thousands in Iraqi and Syria especially who are being sold as sex slaves, loosing their businesses, homes and even their heads because of their faith. The complaint heard most often by the beheaders is that the Christians are not begging for mercy or their lives or crying, instead they are singing hymns.

Yes, you can surrender this upside down madness or stick to your God given values and strength. Perhaps you’ll lose your head; if you do you’ll know where you’ll be in the next instant.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and


Survive Quicksand Moments

May 1, 2015

April 28, 2015
By Reverend Paul N. Papas II

Sometimes it seems like a bad day just keeps getting worse. Bad news and pressure seem to build with every additional word and there seems to be no escape. You seem to be boxed in with nowhere to go, no relief, and no escape. You have a sinking feeling that all is lost. You may entertain the thought to lash out and start thrashing about, don’t. First don’t panic.

Fear, anxiety, worry could lead to disastrous consequences, even death.

Sometimes the best thing to do in those circumstances is nothing. Yes nothing, be still, even if you feel like a squeezed ketchup bottle. Sometimes the thing you resist will persist. Even God tells us to be still when all seems lost.

Something we don’t hear a lot about is quicksand. If you happen to get caught in quicksand the worst thing you can do is to start thrashing around.

How to survive being trapped in quicksand.

First, don’t panic! Panicking in quicksand is pretty much one of the few ways to turn this slightly dangerous situation into deadly.

Second, if you are wearing something heavy attached to yourself like a backpack, unstrap it immediately if you feel it pushing you down.

Outside of having something attached to yourself that is heavy relative to its volume vs. the mass of the quicksand per unit volume, it turns out that it is impossible to sink in quicksand.

If you were simply to stand completely still, the lowest you are likely to sink is to around your waist. Thrashing around however, has been shown to cause the sediment and water to separate somewhat. This will cause you to sink deeper and deeper the more you thrash, to the point where you’re almost completely submersed; then your thrashing, due to some suctioning effects, can pull you under.

Not all bad days or bad circumstances have such dire consequences as quicksand however each is adding strength of character to those who don’t give in to the negative.

Each character building block is having its rough edges smoothed out with each additional experience.

People become stronger as a result of experiencing quicksand moments.

Bodybuilders do not increase their strength by lounging in an overstuffed chair and watching movies.

Bodybuilders go through a lot of pain and self denial in order to be make the front page of a body building magazine.

Worrying adds nothing to your life, it can however shorten your life. People who worry a lot don’t have joy and they are not a joy to be around.

People who face tough circumstances and don’t let pride get in the way are more likely to receive assistance from someone else. In order to receive that help you must stop and be still.

Sometimes the thing that deflates a bad day or bad circumstance is a kind or gentle word. The kind or gentle word can cause us to be still to hear more.

This video is a good example being still then being rescued from quicksand.

Our nature is to do something to correct something, at times we will have to go against our nature to receive the best possible outcome.

For best results in life without fear and anxiety; be still, Listen for that Still Small Voice.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and


Water In Gas, Sugar In Tank

April 3, 2015

Getting Over Painful Exp Monkey Bars CS Lewis
By Reverend Paul N. Papas II
March 30, 2015

Once again Mental Illness and SSRIs make the news.

Most drivers know that water in the gas tank will severely hinder their car’s engine the ability to run. Most of today’s cars run on gasoline or diesel. There are cars that are specifically designed to run on water, just don’t expect to see them in a showroom near you.

Most drivers understand that that putting sugar in a gas tank will also severely hinder their car’s engine the ability to run.

What is common to both the adding of water or sugar to gasoline is that either will change the chemical make up of the fuel upon which the car is designed to run. Without a correct chemical make up of fuel the engine runs poorly or not at all. Our Body and Minds are based upon the same principle. Our bodies and minds are made up of a complex mixture of chemicals. If the chemical balance or mixture is not correct then our bodies and minds are hindered from their ability to operate properly.

Germanwings jetliner catastrophe brought to the forefront Andreas Lubitz’s depression, use of SSRIs, and eighteen months of therapy. I don’t know anything about Andreas Lubitz other than what I read in published articles. From what I read, Lubitz told his ex-girlfriend that everyone would know his name. From what I read, Lubitz refused to allow his Co-Pilot into the cockpit at the time the plane was deliberately headed to crash into the mountains. Later a headline read “SSRIs Psych meds found in home of Germanwings pilot…”

I and others have written about the dangers of SSRIs and other medications used to treat Mental Illnesses, which you can find on my blog . One hint of concern that should open the eyes of anyone looking at medication used for treating Mental Illness is the stated side affect of suicide.

Not being a chemist, I could give not you the whys and wherefores of medication interaction with our bodies. Pharmacists are better suited in addressing medication interaction with our bodies and with other medications.

I am a student of history.

Man has been using various ‘medications’ to assist people with a variety of issues including Mental Illness for thousands of years.

For a period of time Doctors prescribed and used leaches to ‘cleanse the blood’. Our first President, George Washington had leach therapy before he died.

At one time Doctors were soundly criticized for believing in the idea that they had to wash their hands between surgeries.

Opium was used for both pain relief, and relief from depression, anxieties and other mental health disorders throughout history, from pre-Christian times, until recently. It’s use continued throughout the centuries until the 1700s and 1800s when it had become a popular over-the-counter drug that was used not only to help calm a person’s nerves, but also used in many children’s elixir’s as an aid with crying fits or tantrums.

Opium fell out of mainstream use in the earlier part of the 20th century, and along with it, the over the counter use of cocaine with the passing of laws that limited their use. Some painkillers today and other psychiatric medications are opiate based or have a similar chemical structure. Some psychiatric medications have a similar chemical structure to heroin, although its administration and use is different.

Today’s Pharmaceutical companies are interested in making large profits. Recent history has uncovered several instances where previously thought to be safe medications proved to be harmful. There are several whistleblowers who have reported the dangers of various medications and vaccines.

There are ways to treat and live with Mental Illnesses without the use of medications.

Just like the water or sugar in the gas tank severely hinder the car’s engine to run; certain foods have the same affect upon our Body and Mind’s ability to function properly. Foods today contain chemicals; some of those chemicals are harmful to our bodies and minds. Some of those chemicals are said to be preservatives. Generally, if I can not pronounce the ingredient, I don’t eat it.

President Abraham Lincoln suffered from Depression long before he ran for president. He was a founder of the current Republican Party which was anti-slavery. President Lincoln did not take any medication for his depression; he ate healthy food and was a man of prayer.

My point is that any chemical imbalance can severely hinder the car’s engine, our body, and our minds from operating in a proper manner. If we eat healthy and have healthy habits our bodies and minds have a better opportunity to operate properly.

As we must be careful about the fuel we put in our car, we also must be careful what we put into our bodies. Bad fuel for our car, body or minds act similarly; hindering proper operation.

I would be remiss if I did not say that Prayers work Wonders, especially in this Easter/Passover Season. Happy Easter. Happy Passover.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and

Related Articles

Grandpa’s Wisdom For The Ages

January 2, 2015

wisdom knowledge
By Reverend Paul N. Papas II
December 29, 2014

As life goes on sometimes you remember the excitement you shared with your grandparents. They seemed to be smarter and wiser and ready to share time, stories and impart wisdom.

I am not sure if they realized it however they made the Proverb “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” come to life.

During a walk around the city a stranger asked for money for food. My grandfather’s replied. “I’ll be glad to take to the lunch counter and buy you a meal, but I won’t give you any money” The stranger said no and left. Before I could ask, my grandfather told me “See he wanted the money to buy alcohol and I was not going to support that. I would have gladly purchased him a meal.” This wisdom is from a man who came here through Ellis Island then sponsored and brought over many family members from the old country. They all learned a new alphabet and a new language, English. His examples and teachings reverberated throughout my life and ministry.

Grandparents are great bridge-builders. My grandparents were children of the 19th century and relayed an important heritage of both history and faith through the years.

Children can benefit from their grandparents’ testimonies, teachings and examples because they can personally witness their grandparents.

In a sense, it seems strange that grandparents can have such far-reaching influence. After all, they can be separated in age from their grandchildren by 40 to 70 years. Yet they have an uncanny ability to bridge that generation gap—sometimes even better than parents can.

It would behoove us grandparents to set a good example and pass on our life experiences. Discuss your failures as well as your successes as learning experiences. What good is all that knowledge and wisdom if you don’t pass it on? Funny, I have learned a lot and still heed the wisdom of my grandparents. The wisest thing I learned is that I don’t have all the answers. We are the bridge-builders for our grandchildren.

Here are some other time honored sayings to live by:

– “Do unto others as you would like them to do to you!”

– “What you put out into the world will come back to you, good or bad”

– “Stay honest and keep your integrity”

– “Life will have high peaks and low valleys, and neither is forever. Enjoy the peaks, pull yourself out of the valleys and keep going”

– “Everyday is an opportunity to be better then you were the day before.”

– “You can not change history, learn from it and grow from it”

– “You can not run away from yourself or God”

– “Don’t be judgmental. You don’t know what someone else is going through until you’ve walked in their shoes”

– “Take time to stop and smell the roses along the way”

– “Good manners cost nothing. Practice them and make a good impression”

– “A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful life fills the day with song.”

– “People will forget what you say. People will forget how you look. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

You may want to add to that list.

The core of everything, the very most important thing, is that your children and grandchildren experience being loved by you. They need to feel that you enjoy being with them. When they are loved, and know it, they feel valued and can grow from that place of acceptance. Some of the ways to show this love are to make sure that home is a safe place – a place where they can be silly, mad, and emotional. Where they can be free to be themselves and know they will be loved as a whole person. Remember love is an action word and you should be doing the action.

Love may not cure every ailment known and unknown however it relieves pain, stress, anxiety, depression with its many resulting actions and trips to doctors.

Love well practiced could change the hearts of others.

To use another saying: Love, try it you’ll like it.

Reverend Paul N. Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and

Self Esteem Is It A Good Thing – Thermostat or Barometer?

March 7, 2014

By Reverend Paul N Papas II
4 March 2014

There have been many people who have made a lot of money off of selling books, tapes, and seminars about having a good self-esteem. You may be convinced that you have should good self- esteem.

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let’s first take a look at the word esteem, which means that someone or something is important, special, or valuable. For example, if you really admire your friend’s dad because he volunteers at the fire department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

And self means, well, yourself! So put the two words together and it’s easier to see what self-esteem is. What you have is Self – Self which lives no room for anyone else.

Do you remember the recent news cycle of the president taking a Selfie picture with a leader of another country? Who is the most important thing in a Selfie….you.

In January of 1982, Air Florida’s flight 90 crashed into the Potomac River. Initially six people survived the crash; they were seen in the water, clinging to the tail section of the airplane. A helicopter was brought in and hovered over the survivors, lowering a lifeline and flotation ring.

The craft could only handle one person at a time. Each time the helicopter returned and lowered the line, one of those in the water — a man described as balding, probably in his 50’s, and with an extravagant mustache — passed the line on to one of the others in the water with him. We later learned that this man’s name was Arland Williams.

When the other five had been rescued and the chopper returned for him, the man had gone under the water, another victim of the crash. One of the rescuers in the helicopter later said, “In a mass casualty, you’ll find people like him. But I’ve never seen one with the commitment.”

The man in the water could not have anticipated this tragedy, nor the role he would play in it, but there must have been some earlier commitments in his life — to such things as caring and selflessness — that equipped him to keep passing the lifeline to others when his own terror had to be crying out for him to cling to the line himself.

Self-esteem is frequently based on our feelings of worth in terms of our skills, achievements, status, financial resources, or physical attributes. Self-esteem often cultivates an independent and arrogant attitude. When we find ourselves not measuring up to society’s criteria for worth, we suffer serious consequences. Our self-esteem depreciates dramatically. The illusion of being successful and admired gives way to disillusionment as our possessions and achievements that once nourished our souls fail to satisfy our appetites. Every individual experiences basic needs — hunger, thirst, fatigue, etc. We are conditioned to satisfy these needs by getting something — food, drink, or rest. Mistakenly we conclude that by getting, we will achieve an acceptable self-esteem.

Nothing depreciates self-esteem faster than regret, anger, or fear. If you achieved your monthly quota and bonuses, your self-esteem soars with your boss’ praise. Like a barometer, your self-esteem plummeted when you received criticism during non-productive cycles.

Arland Williams put the other passengers first before himself. He raised his value each time he saved another person’s life. He could have kept his self-self intact and gone up the rope first. He was more of a thermostat that a barometer.

Here are “Ten Commandments to make yourself miserable.”

1) I must be liked by everybody for everything I do.
2) I cannot be happy unless everything is exactly the way I want it to be.
3) All the unhappiness I suffer is always caused by outside events or other people. I am just a victim.
4) It is wiser for me to avoid life’s difficulties than to face them and deal with them.
5) I must succeed in all situations or I am a failure in life.
6) Because a negative experience happened to me once, I shall forever be defeated by it.
7) I must have certain and complete control over all people and events in my life, or chaos will result.
8) I must put my happiness and comfort at the top of my priority list in order to live a fulfilled life.
9) I must compare and contrast myself with other people in order to know if I’m successful or not.
10) I must have certainty of success before I ever attempt anything.

Knowing who you are deep down inside when you are alone with yourself and what you do when no one is looking will reveal your true self. If you don’t have any values you will fall for anything and probably do anything.

Be more of a thermostat that a barometer.

Having a Self-Self focus could lead you to morale bankruptcy, loneliness, depression, and being medicated to name a few. It is not too late to find fulfillment in life when the Self-Self focus is gone.

Rev Paul N Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and


November 1, 2013

By Reverend Paul N Papas II

Times of refreshing can be as simple as splashing a little water on your face, soaking in a hot tub, going for a walk in fresh air, relaxing on vacation, or eating a good meal.

Your doctor and your mother always recommended getting at least eight hours of sleep each night. Everyone knows that without the proper amount of sleep the mind will be groggy the next day and as a result many more mistakes will be made. This means that you should get a full night’s rest before taking a test or take a little nap before driving a long distance in a car.

Scientists realize that sleep is not just a mental recharger, but is also important for the body as well. When a person sleeps, the body and mind are working just as hard as when the person is awake, correcting chemical imbalances, assuring proper blood sugar levels for the next day, and maintaining the memory.

Before electricity people would generally go to sleep when the sun set and arise with the sun, assuring that they got enough sleep to maintain a healthy mind and body. The light bulb has expanded the working day from 12 to 24 hours. It is becoming apparent that more and more people are sleep deprived. And with that deprivation, more and more scientists are realizing, there comes not only a mental deficiency, but also a physical deficiency.

The amount of sleep each person needs depends on many factors, including age. Infants generally require about 16 hours a day, while teenagers need about 9 hours on the average. For most adults, 7 to 8 hours a night appears to be the best amount of sleep, although some people may need as few as 5 hours or as many as 10 hours of sleep each day. Women in the first 3 months of pregnancy often need several more hours of sleep than usual.

The amount of sleep a person needs also increases if he or she has been deprived of sleep in previous days. Getting too little sleep creates a “sleep debt,” which is much like being overdrawn at a bank. Eventually your body will demand that the debt be repaid. We don’t seem to adapt to getting less sleep than we need; while we may get used to a sleep-depriving schedule, our judgment, reaction time, and other functions are still impaired.

People tend to sleep more lightly and for shorter time spans as they get older, although they generally need about the same amount of sleep as they needed in early adulthood. About half of all people over 65 have frequent sleeping problems, such as insomnia. This change may be a normal part of aging, or it may result from medical problems that are common in elderly people or from the medications and other treatments taken for those problems.

After an injury people need time to allow the body to rest and heal. Sometimes some physical therapy is required to regain strength or coordination. Some injuries require a period of hospitalization to heal the body or mind, or perhaps both.

In New England the harvest season is upon us where the fruits of the spring and summer labors are about to come to fruition. After the harvest, the land rests and then freezes in the winter, getting ready for a new planting season in the spring.

The idea of times of refreshing started in the beginning when the world was created in six days, then God rested on the seventh day to show us that we need time to refresh.

Whether you play for the Red Sox, softball at the local park, or work….you have a need to refresh for you body and mind to be ready for the next game or work day.

Lack of sleep can cause serious injuries and contribute to or exacerbate a variety of mental health issues. Simply put, your car won’t run without gas; and your body can’t function properly without water, food, and enough rest; and neither can your mind.

Take your times of refreshing as needed.

Reverend Paul N Papas II is a Pastoral Counselor with Narrow Path Ministries (MA and AZ) and Founder of the Family Renewal Center (AZ) and

%d bloggers like this: